


Jake Peralta And The Super-Awesome Fantastic Non-Denominational Holiday Party.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Canon Jewish Character, Non-Denominational Holiday Party, Podfic Available, Rosh Hashana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 22:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2325443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five occurrences regarding Rosh Hashana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jake Peralta And The Super-Awesome Fantastic Non-Denominational Holiday Party.

**Author's Note:**

> By this point, my [only](https://archiveofourown.org/works/114384) [excuse](https://archiveofourown.org/works/263415) [is](https://archiveofourown.org/works/516069) [inertia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/943345). Shana tova, y'all.

1.

"Yo, listen up," Jake announces. "Non-denominational holiday party, Friday, potluck. Bring festive foods!"

"Oooh, apple cake." Gina rubs her hands. Jake knows what that look in her eye means and he approves so much.

Boyle says, "Jake, it's the middle of September. What's non-denominational about this?"

Jake shrugs. "You guys have Labor Day, right?"

"That was two weeks ago."

Jake pats him on the shoulder. "Hey, good enough. Party, Friday, you guys got that?"

 

2.

Rosa corners Amy. "I need your help."

Amy has always appreciated the way Rosa can state things so menacingly. "I am willing to help with you," she responds cheerfully. "Um, you. Help you."

"Peralta keeps talking about my mom's fish recipe. You got to distract him before he calls her and asks for it. You know she'll give that shit away to anyone. It's my fish. He can't get my fish."

"Got it," Amy says. She isn't going to point out that she's not sure Peralta knows that Rosa has a mom other than in the general sense. "I'll make sure Peralta doesn't get anywhere near your fish."

 

3.

Captain Holt calls Jake into his office.

"You're throwing a party," Holt says.

"Yep, sir, a non-denominational autumnal harvest festival holiday party." Jake says.

"Does this have anything to do with the Christmas tree that got put up in October last year?"

"No, sir, don't know what you're talking about," Jake says, a total innocent in everything. "Christmas tree? What Christmas tree? What even is a Christmas tree? I don't know anything about botany or arbory or trees. Do trees even exist?"

"Hmm," says Captain Holt. "All right, then. Dismissed."

"Really?" Jake asks before he can stop himself. He puts his hand over his mouth.

"Really," Holt says. "I've already bought honey cake. I don't like to waste honey cake."

 

4.

Under normal circumstances, Boyle would never do this. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Every part of him is disgusted by what he is about to do, the lack of integrity, the lack of rigor. But needs must. It's nearly Friday.

Boyle swallows his pride and contacts his underground foodie network to find out the best deli in Brooklyn and the best thing to buy there.

The things he does for his reputation. Ohhh, the things he does. He's going to have nightmares.

 

5.

It's a great party, if Jake does say so himself. 

And he does. He does say so himself.

To be honest, he's pretty drunk right now.

"Hey, everyone," he announces, twirling only a little, "Shana-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-batman tova! And a merry Labor Day to its celebrants!"

"Still two weeks ago," Boyle says.

"That's the spirit," Jake says and falls off the chair.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] Jake Peralta And The Super-Awesome Fantastic Non-Denominational Holiday Party](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727695) by [wethethousands (atlantisairlock)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/wethethousands)




End file.
